In my own life, I had a recent experience with my significant other which ended up being an ongoing demon of his inability to ‘be present’.
I think that perhaps he thought I was overreacting to his routine anxious state but as I began to explain the root of anxiety, I could quickly see the wheels turning and the understanding that the majority of this anxious thinking was merely a state of worry coming out as mental fabricated illusions of what could happen.
Whenever we think about the could have’s in life, it’s typically based on fear (assuming these could have’s are not goal oriented).
What happens when we do things based on fear? I think it’s an individual outcome. For some, perhaps it does give them that push to achieve. For most, I think it has a far different result.
Per this link that I have attached (5 Regrets People Make on Their Deathbed), our fear based living drives us to work too much, alienate our feelings, prohibits our vulnerability, stifles healthy communication, robs us of authentic happiness, and so much more. I didn’t even mention the physical havoc that is reeked on the body that is being directed by a fearful brain and heart. Again, I look at my personal journey and have the human nature to look at my friends, peers, previous colleagues and wonder, am I ‘far enough’? Have I done enough? The questions snowbell….UNLESS, I stop the snowball effect in its tracks and start telling myself:
- I am exactly where I’m suppose to be.
- I will not live to work, I will work to live.
- My journey looks like no one else’s because it belongs to no one else.
- My identity is not in what I achieve, it’s in who God has called me to be, which is an authentic raw genuine human being capable of love and forgiveness and capable of being loved and forgiven”.
With these constants reminders, hopefully on our death bed we will have no regrets and are able to say, I lived my life and did the things I wanted. I cultivated relationships and gave what I had despite my instinct to hoard or enter survival mode. I laughed, I traveled, and I told the people in my life that I loved them and they knew it based on my actions.
Friend, do not let another day go by caring what anyone is thinking. Be vulnerable, live for God and care only what He thinks. The rest will fall into place, I promise you. †
In good health & blessings,
[Doctoral Candidate of Naturopathic Medicine 2016]